Ouch. I was with you there at the start, but then it turned ugly.
You have no idea the reactions I've had from men to my post, incensed that I told my husband that we couldn't *afford* the bike.
Not that I didn't *like* it.
Not that I wanted to get something else.
The words "we can't afford it" weren't enough for them. The assumption was that I wanted him to let go of his Harley so I could have something *I* wanted.
Even if we didn't have a sick kid, the fact that a luxury item breaks the budget should be enough. I've seen men bankrupt their families for trucks, boats and bikes over and over again and every time it puzzles the crap out of me. When they get that "gleam in their eye" for something with a motor, it's all over. The suffering (first by the wife, then the kids... *finally* by the man) is incredible.
Don't get me wrong. Women have stereotypical stupid tricks as well. (They tend to make a thousand *small* stupid financial decisions to the guy's very big *one* stupid financial decision, but it usually balances out in the amounts. My favorite is the "Sale Shopper". She justifies buying things the family doesn't need by saying, "But it was on sale! What a great bargain!" The fact that she'd save even *more* money by buying *nothing* never occurs to her! Another justifies everything by saying that "it's for the house" or "it's for the kids" when it's obvious that the house and kids would survive just fine without it. Yes, the kids can walk in a $20 pair of shoes just as well as they can walk in a $75 pair of shoes... or better yet, go to the thrift store and spend $3! And *no* child needs more than 3 pair of shoes... ever.)
It took a long time for my husband to see that he was hurting his family by something that gave him so much fun. And now he's p*ssed at *himself* for taking so long to wake up. In my book, *he* is a real man for sacrificing for those he loves.
The only explanation I can think of for the visceral reaction of the good gentlemen here at FR to my post is that they're used to demanding females who force them to sacrifice everything *for* them and never give anything back.
But if you have a woman who has her 14 year old son cut her hair, who *never* goes out for fast food, who owns four pair of shoes, mends clothes and frequently sits *you* down with the family budget to get your opinion on where she could further cut the budget... and if she finally says, "your toy has got to go"... I don't give a *crap* of you have a sick kid or just a credit card that you're trying to kill, you sell the stupid *toy*! (You have no idea how many guys won't do it. Even when their families are living on rice and eggs, *they'll* still insist on a stupid steak. It's because they work so hard, you know?)
Not all women are selfish. Guys need to get that. Sometimes you *boys* have to grow up as well.