To: najida
I am a very strong believer that the worst thing anyone can do is think they HAVE to find love. You have to be able to function without it-
Oh I totally agree there. I worked hard to be where I was happy not being married before ever found Jen. I knew there were things I wanted out of marriage but I wanted to be happy with who I was and more or less where I was. Having achieved that and then not settling on the woman part made it so getting married was actually a surprisingly small change in life in general. Not small, but smaller than I expected or had been lead to believe. If you have to change your whole life and everything you do in order to be married then you are not likely to be happy. Of course that does not count the things you ADD to your life or reprioritzations. It was not that I was unwilling to change a lot. It was that by not setting on the actual things that really mattered I did not have to.
As much as I like the sound of 'find that person you can't live without' I did not do that at all. Pretty much the reverse. I think that might work differently depending on what age you get married.
136 posted on
02/14/2008 8:22:16 AM PST by
TalonDJ
To: TalonDJ
If you have to change your whole life and everything you do in order to be married then you are not likely to be happy. Very good point! I've often wondered why a person would get married, if he believes that's going to require his abandoning the most important things in his life (going out to bars, watching TV all the time, and driving too fast in impractical cars.) It could just be an act, I suppose, but then it's a counterproductive one.
147 posted on
02/14/2008 8:35:54 AM PST by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: TalonDJ
I worked hard to be where I was happy not being married before ever found Jen. I knew there were things I wanted out of marriage but I wanted to be happy with who I was and more or less where I was.
Lots of wisdom there, my FRiend.
202 posted on
02/14/2008 9:48:25 AM PST by
JamesP81
("I am against "zero tolerance" policies. It is a crutch for idiots." --FReeper Tenacious 1)
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