Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
Oh I know some of those ‘married within two week’ girls. They scare the hell outta me, and again, give us decent chicks a bad rep.
Yeah there are lots of unsuitable women, accept it, and start ignoring them. Long before I got married I had concluded there was only a tiny tiny fraction of women that would meet my ‘veto’ criteria. You have to accept and embrace that fact to be happy while you are still single.
Thank you God for giving me a true soul mate so I didn’t have to “settle”.
Hahahaha, I get sex way more often now than when I was married
Well, let us put it this way. I may not get it as often as I used to, being married 30 years, but when I do get it, OH BOY................
(as compared to younger and less experienced men).
At the age of 42, she makes some VERY insane decisions that made me RUN like hell from her. Now she's callin' and trying to come back, but..... no thanks. If I never do better, I've done better -- better then taking HER back.
Physically gorgeous.
But sicker'n shit.
In my humble experience, the first five years are rough. (Two individuals trying to make one life.) The second five are comfortable. If you make it through that, you're in for a lovely life with a depth of love that you never knew was possible.
Ask any person who's happily married after 15 years if they love their partner as much as they did on their wedding day. I'll bet dollars to donuts that they'll say that they didn't even know what love was on that day.
I’m not saying they would. I’m just saying that no one should be apologizing for their ideal standards.
By that same token, they shouldn’t write four-page essays bemoaning the fact that it cost them too much.
:o)
I have to take umbrage with your generalization of males....the vast majority of the men I know, will look at Playboy, as matter of curiosity, however the same males move on, a small percentage of males get high on a picture...
It is typical of certain type female, that tends debase all males, by the inference that male sexuality, is rooted in a Playboy magazine...that is, a male is incapable of any real emotions.....little wonder that men are walking away from modern women...
Says the twice divorced woman. The majority of 25 year old women cannot tell the difference. That is why most chase the bad boys and then many end up becoming these 40 year old never been married women like the woman in this article.
The argument ended well enough. We decided to blame the kids, his job and my back. (That's called a compromise.)
But she does make up for it by buying me guns, so it all works out.
I’ve never been divorced.
“If it were me, I’d use this thread to meet other Freepers of like mind...”
No way! That’s what the bash a candidate threads are for! (sarc off)
Seriesly, I enjoy hearing everyone’s input on these threads. Well, at least the reasonable posts, which are plentiful on this one.
... studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.
Well, they do get it more often....
At least for the first few years. Then she holds it hostage for a newer SUV, bigger house, etc...
Dave Barry is excellent. I laughed out loud repeatedly. Thanks for that.
....For men: There is no such thing as bad sex....
You need to meet my ex-wife!
Sometimes that’s all you can do. I was there just 9 months ago. Awesome chick, competely flipped out a month before we were to be married. Miss her 3 wonderful girls like hell, but I don’t go near her.
Read again. I don't believe the context of my statement includes every.single.male.
It speaks to the point of the article, about women's expectations and their dreams. Not every woman has the same dream of marriage and the author of the article is excoriated rightly for suggesting such.
Many "old school males" of my acquaintance years ago, were quite forthright about their standard of beauty. I've had two very wonderful men both tell me about the girl they were dating, all of her good qualities, but lament the fact that she wasn't not pretty enough for them.
I ain't crying about it. It's how it is, for many. The scientific fact that men are appealed to through their vision first, and sometimes foremost is just that: a cold fact. It doesn't make men shallow, or contemptible, or wrong. It makes them men.
If a man sets his standards for a mate according to what pleases his eye, and no more, then who are women to complain? If a woman sets her standards according to what provides security, who is a man to complain?
I've often heard mothers tell their daughters that it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.
Fortunately, few people follow their own advice, or adhere to their own standards, else no one would ever marry!
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