I suppose I’ll ask Earthdweller for career writing advice rather than you. But your response mixed with the others shows that it was actually a very effective piece of writing.
Are you the type of guy who goes onto a Unicorn Admirer website and tell them that they have to give up their Unicorn ethics so that the predators can be in charge?
I actually liked the poop line better. Humor is my core genre and my opium.