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I am not sure about any of that, my wife and I have been married for 38 years and while our experience may not be transferable, I will share some of our "secrets".

The wife and I have adjusted to each other over those years, neither of us are the "same person". When we got married I was just out of the Army and was in the best physical shape I would ever be in. Now I am just a old bald headed fat guy. My wife was a cute girl with a great sense of humor. I am fortunate, she has not changed much.

A lot of those issues went away many years ago, generally we already know the answer to any question the other will ask, so much of our communication is silent.

There are some things that she does that annoys the hell out of me, and I know there are some things that I do annoy the hell out of her. We simply agreed to accept the fact that we will on occasions annoy each other and let it go.

We still say "please" and "thank you" to each other and on those rare occasions we have a disagreement we never resort to name calling or belittling the other. (Our family are convinced we never fight, but we have had a few at family functions but no one was aware of it but each other). Most fights only last a few minutes and we either accept the others view point or agree to disagree (there are not many things we disagree on, but there are some and we just accept it.).

While we both are can spend our money there is an unspoken agreement that neither will make a major purchase without the other's approval. Sometimes it takes months to make a major purchase. If we both don't agree, it does not get bought.

We usually tell each other we love each other daily, and give each other good bye kisses if one is leaving the house.

I buy her flowers two or three times a month because I know she likes to have fresh flowers in the house, and in the same token, she will often do something special for me.

So perhaps the seacret is to understand the two of you are a team and you are in it for the long haul and you should not sweat the small stuff, and almost everything is the small stuff.

CIB-173RDABN summed it up nicely in his post. That’s what it SHOULD be.

Your complaint on an earlier post; “leave my stuff alone,” is not exclusive as men messing with women’s things (in general). You’ll find many men here saying the exact same thing.

Perhaps the guy who threw away your CD was just a jerk and a control freak. A lot of guys have had women do the exact same thing to them. They’ll likely tell you “she was a ‘jerk’ and a control freak.”

Find a guy who respects you. While your at it, find a guy you respect and treat him with respect. Doing this would solve a lot of relationship problems.

We usually tell each other we love each other daily, and give each other good bye kisses if one is leaving the house.

I tell my wife of 25 years, "I love you", each night before sleep. I do it because if I die in my sleep, that's the last words out of my mouth I want her to hear and remember.

I give her a kiss each time before I leave the house because, if I die while gone, that's the last thing I want her to remember me doing. Even if she's still sleeping when I get up and go to work, I kiss her in her sleep. She knows I did.