I'm sure it had nothing to do with his behavior. This kid was probably troubled from almost birth. That's my guess. I think legalism was the worst thing that could have happened to him. But it's not the fault of legalism. In fact, I think it's barely a contributing cause. He made plenty of choices. He didn't want to get better from his time in the church (whatever real or imagined wrongs were done to him). He wanted to be mad. Wanted to be right. Wanted to be in power and in control over those he felt had been over him. That's not because he didn't get to listen to N'Sync or play with Teletubbies. That's the selfish nature of sin at its core.
He didn’t want to get better from his time in the church (whatever real or imagined wrongs were done to him). He wanted to be mad. Wanted to be right. Wanted to be in power and in control over those he felt had been over him.
= = =
I think much of what you write about wanting to be mad etc. was true.
However, I do believe that HE DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE BETTER. Mother’s EVIDENT/REPORTED/ALLEGED perfectionism set him up to be hopeless. HE COULD NEVER measure up regardless.
And, every where he turned in the home, he was EVIDENTLY provoked to wrath routinely, constantly.
I know what the toll of such treatment is like from more than just my clients.
IF 10% of his allegations about mom are correct, she was AN EXPERT IN CRAZYMAKING.
Hopefully—No doubt—very unwittingly.