Basically, they believe that I am their "chosen one" for "the end times" and according to the Ezekial passage they believe that I am going to go back to their church/system.
The problem right now is the fact that it appears that they are always going to pursue me throughout life(and they have said so), as I am supposedly the "chosen one." As far as I can tell they did not treat the other youth the same way.
Well, I don't want to be their "chosen one" at all. I just wish I could find some way to wake up from this nightmare.
They dont see us anymore Without love as they had promised And no faith for whats in store Oh I wish that I could see How I wish that I could fly From these things that hang above me To a place where I can cry Where are all these feelings hiding? Dancing in and out my mind Burning up all that I long for Feeding me till my decline Where are you? My soul is bleeding I am searching, am I blind? All alone and bound forever Trapped inside me for all time
So what can it be? No one hears me call Echoes back at me .. No one's there .. To all these nameless feelings I can't deal with in my life To all these greedy people Trying to feed on what is mine Youve got to fill your hunger And stop @#%$ with my mind I know it's time to leave these places far behind .
They will always be targeting me,hoping and praying I'll come back, waiting for some weakness(financial, health, or otherwise) so they can move in and re-convert me. Sometimes I fear I'll end up going back. Sometimes the depression gets so dark, and trying to live in the "real unsheltered world" gets so hard I start to think about returning back to what is at least "familiar," into a system I at least know how to behave and live in. I know there is a way out of this nightmare
It's just so f***ed up that this is the whole reason I was born.
The virgins are feeling cheated and there is an exit here, Don't say it isn't it's true......
I went to God just to see.........
I'm working on a way out here, time is going to wash away all pain.
Here’s my remix...
“””Since I was at least age 6 my mother and her church friends have always told me about how my birth was “foretold.” “””
“””In this prophecy, they also believe that it was “prophesied” that I would rebel, but then RETURN to their church and that’s helping to drive me crazy.”””
“””ok yeah, all these crazy memories. I can’t fully remember and if i try too hard the room will start spinning and I’ll go crazy.”””
“””Well, I don’t want to be their “chosen one” at all. I just wish I could find some way to wake up from this nightmare.”””
“”” I know there is a way out of this nightmare “””
I guarantee this plotline will be used in the next season of law and order. Let’s pray the writers never quit striking :p.
I think I’m to have to quit for the night.. Take care, and pray for those who read the info on those pages. One needs strength to get through it.
Sigh.
What a load of twisted pain.
. . . self-pity etc. . . .
Not at all a fun world he had to contend with . . . and created/ responded to.