The catch is that the old order is under no obligation not to oppose your revolution, so you need to win and you're not really allowed to bitch about it when you don't. A great many words have been expended by the south denying that their actions were revolution. I have little doubt that, had they won their war, they'd have been more than happy to proclaim it thus.
You missed Madison’s point. When we’re dealing with constitutional compacts between separate political bodies into a federated constitutional state, secession IS the expression of the natural right of revolution. It’s the way that one of the individual political bodies that acceded to the union has of dissolving that union and going its separate way, through a revolution against the union. Secession IS revolution, and is justifiable under “intolerable oppressions”.
It’s true - the old order is NOT under an obligation accept the new. Great Britain was within its rights to oppose the departure of her American colonies, and the North was within its rights to try to stop the South. Remember, I’ve consistently been saying on here that I don’t think the South should have won (would have been very, very bad for future world events), but instead that all States, Southern or otherwise, DO have a right to secession from the union if they choose to exercise it for solemn purposes.