You are a least correct in your assessment that you would not be considered a Christian, for you are not. You have created your own religion.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve “created” a religion... I do believe that the Christian salvation is an integral part in entering heaven. I do, however, believe that morality has a role. You see, we are defined by our actions and beliefs. When we accept salvation from Christ, our sins (and over the course of a lifetime, unless you are a Noah or an Enoch, you will probably commit at least one) are literally “washed away” from our identities, i.e. our souls, by the proverbial blood of Jesus, and we become “perfected.” The more we sin and the more we disobey the laws of God, the more our soul “rots” and parts of it become unfit for Heaven. If we allow ourselves to be defined by this sin, or if you refuse such cleansing, your entire self gets washed away.
But I am getting way too off track here. Allow me to collect my thoughts and find out what exactly is going on with this Coulter/Deutsch thing and I’ll post my thoughts on it.