Q: Why do men usually die before their wives?
A: Because they want to...
Q: why do married men live longer?
A: They actually don’t, it just feeeeeeeeeels longer.
Another joke back atcha - “Ladies don’t sweat, belch, or fart, so if they didn’t bitch they’d blow up.”
Reminds me of another joke:
Man comes home and sits in front of the TV and says to his wife; “could you please get me a beer before it starts?”
The wife complies and brings the man a beer.
Soonafter, the man finishes the beer and again asks his wife; “please bring me anther beer before it starts.”
His wife is a little preturbed but does comply, bringing the man a cold beer.
The man finishes the beer and asks his wife if she’ll bring him another “before it starts.”
She’s has had enough of this tomfoolery and tears into him: “Why are you always sitting on your duff and constantly making me wait on you hand and foot?!! And another thing...”
THe man throws up his hands and says “Oh great, IT’S STARTED!!”