Posted on 08/01/2007 6:33:48 PM PDT by pacelvi
And remember to extend the pinky when cutting the heads off of kufir when waging holy jihad. < /S >
Good Lord.
Going to the bathroom in that religion is a real test of faith.
You have to say a prayer going in.
You have to decide which way to face.
You have to decide whether to piss squatting down or standing up. That means you gotta examine the soil, make a determination of the moisture content in the soil, and so on.
You have to hold your coffee in your right hand so you can hold with your left.
You have to utter another prayer.
You have to continue hanging onto your coffee with your right hand. Basically...you touch anything at all with that right hand except your styrofoam coffee cup, you are going to hell.
You have to utter another prayer as you leave.
No wonder these people live in the Seventh Century. How the hell can you invent the cotton gin when it takes you all that time and energy just to piss.
I guess living in a constantly dehydrated state in the Middle East where you piss once a day is the only way you could do it without going stark raving mad.
And, what if you REALLY have to go? Those times when you get through the bathroom door, and are fumbing madly with the zipper to your pants, hopping like a lunatic from foot to foot, hoping desperately to get it out and aimed in the generally right direction before you piss yourself?
You gotta say the prayer fast, take the compass reading and turn as you do, shift the cup, unzip with the left hand, look at the soil, figure it out, squat or stand, get it back in and say a prayer all while jumping from foot to foot as if you were standing on hot coals.
MAKES ME GLAD TO BE AN AMERICAN! WE DON’T HAVE TO PISS LIKE EUROSITZPINKLERS OR MULLAHS!
Wear a nice bright yellow shirt with a smiley face on it that says “Have a nice day even if you are an intolerant Islamic supremacist. Jesus died for YOUR sins too.”
And if you fart it can invalidate your prayers and you have to start the cleansing ritual all over again.
Hilarious!
It can be enough to drive you mad enough to hijack a plane and kill thousands of people.
It is institutionalized Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Just wow. Mystery explained. One day I, as a fairly attractive female in her mid 30s, was walking across a freeway bridge overpass on a very busy city street. Two Middle Eastern men were walking toward me in the opposite direction. The sidewalk was a squeeze narrow for three people abreast.
As any female in middle class civilized America would, I assumed the two "gentlemen" would perhaps or perhaps not acknowledge me, so deep in conversation were they, but certainly one of them would pause a split second out of his gait and let me pass. Is there an American-raised male reading this who would for an instant consider any other scenario?
I'm pretty sure I was walking on the right, but I know for sure that when we finally came abreast, I found myself forced out toward the left, busy traffic right off the curb; neither of them acknowleded me or made eye contact, and if I'd have had to step off the curb to accommodate them, they'd not have noticed. My intense dislike for those kinds of jerks began in earnest then. If I was in their country, I'd have no problem. But they're in MY country. Do it the way we do things, or go home, asswipes. Grrrr. I hope chivalry makes an appearance and American men start kicking their asses when they treat women with disrespect.
Just wow.
Paging Senator Obama Hussein Obama...
He’ll have to learn these rules of “engagement” so he doesn’t irritate our muslim masters when he meets at the table with Islamic terrorists to negotiate the peace.
Worth resposting. Very illustrative.
(I know I shouldn't laugh...but I just cannot help it...)
Ow! :^) Bullseye.
Then you have committed a hate crime and you’ll pay for it.
If I encounter that, I have no doubt how I will respond.
I am going to line up my shoulder squarely with his shouder. And I guarantee my path is not going to deviate an inch. After the collision, I will turn around, and in a voice with a gesture like John Belushi gave after he smashed the guy’s guitar in the movie “Animal House”, I will shrug my shoulders and say: “Sorry.”
I used to be a hockey player so I know how to do that.
Interesting. I’ve been following many of those rules for most of my life and never knew it was proscribed in the Koran. Maybe I’m not as Catholic as I thought!
Imam, is my middle finger considered a greeting? Because that’s how I’ll likely greet you if you push me towards the narrowest part of the street.
You thought someone would post this as a POSITIVE show for Islam?
Since your apologizing to me, i guess i wont insult you but.. cmon.. isn’t the point of this self-evident?
Thanks for the great idea. I now know how to handle these satan worshippers in public.
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