I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. I am the youngest. My father was 45 when I was born.
Throughout my life, I remember my father telling me that he never wanted to live hooked to a ventilator or in a nursing home.
As a child, I couldn’t see this ever happening. My father was my hero. I just couldn’t imagine him being sick.
When he was diagnosed with lukemia, he went in to it with his head held high and was determined to beat it. He came through the chemo therapy pretty well. And even spent the night watching a 15 year-old who also had lukemia, so that her parents could leave the hospital for the first time in two weeks.
A few days after that, he developed an infection. Over the next three days, he steadily got worse and slipped in to a coma. My mother, my sisters, my brothers and I all agreed that it was time to pull back on his medication and let him go. The doctor told us to wait until after his rounds. It was 8:45 then. My father passed away at 8:50. I have always belived that we were going to do the right thing, but that my father passed on his own, so that none of us would have to carry that guilt. To this day, I don’t know if I could handle carry that with me everyday.
You know, the people that have to see terminal pain and suffering really comment the least seing how “you don’t really know how you will think until it faces you.” My dad is paralyzed from the neck down, and hooked to a ventilator. He was “supposed to die” three times. The last time was close to a year ago, and since then, I have enjoyed talks(him also) that never would have happened had he been “normal”.
I had my dad begging me to unplug the venilator(didn’t know if it was him, or the drugs). I didn’t do it, having the same conviction as you, and the family did agree to stop all extra procedures - God obviously didn’t want him to die, and he recovered from his lungs full of fluid. These matters are diffucult ones to face even if you are fully convinced when you are well. But, I still believe we should sustain our lives as long as it is feasable. Life is a precious gift, and should not be viewed along the thought processes of “quality of life, productive member of society, etc..”
and... for the record of those who don’t believe in talking while on a trache, its called letting the cuff down.