“I’m sorry, you are off your rocker on this one. I’ve had extensive experience with the mormon religion...relatives are mormon, some RLDS, as a kid I occasionally went to mormon sunday school...was in the scouting program through the mormon church.”
OK, you’ve just claimed I’m off my rocker. How about you and I put up a thousand dollars and see who is for real nutto as far as past experiences go. I’ll get my list of crooked Mormons together and we can go visit them.
“There is no planet Kolob. Mormons do not believe this.”
They sure as hell do. From wikipedia:
The first known reference to Kolob is found in the Book of Abraham, published in the LDS volume of scripture entitled the Pearl of Great Price. The Book of Abraham was dictated by founder Joseph Smith, Jr. as he read from Egyptian scrolls that accompanied a traveling mummy exhibition. When this show passed through Smith’s town of Kirtland, Ohio in 1835, Smith was approached about the scrolls based on his reputation for having published what he said were translations of ancient texts such as the golden plates. According to Smith, the scrolls described a vision of Abraham, in which Abraham:
“saw the stars, that they were very great, and that one of them was nearest unto the throne of God;....and the name of the great one is Kolob, because it is near unto me, for I am the Lord thy God: I have set this one to govern all those which belong to the same order as that upon which thou standest.” (Book of Abraham 3:2-3.)
In an explanation of an Egyptian hypocephalus that was part of the Book of Abraham scrolls, Joseph Smith interpreted one set of hieroglyphics as representing:
“Kolob, signifying the first creation, nearest to the celestial, or the residence of God. First in government, the last pertaining to the measurement of time. The measurement according to celestial time, which celestial time signifies one day to a cubit. One day in Kolob is equal to a thousand years according to the measurement of this earth, which is called by the Egyptians Jah-oh-eh.” (Book of Abraham, Facsimile 2, Figure #1 explanation.)
“There’s no way this could be possible and me not know about it. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of it.”
Apparently because you are off your rocker.
“I’m sorry, it’s impossible.”
You think Kolob is impossible, wait till you get to seer stones, magic underwear, the translation of Egyptian funery scrolls, three dollar bills and the brass ball that brought the Jews to America on a ship they built in 600 BC.
“They do believe that native americans are the lost tribes of israel(I think). It’s been quite a few years for me. these are very old memories. They believe there were white people in south america that were exterminated by the dark skinned people. The book of mormon was suposedly written by these extinct white people.”
Well, obviously anyone sane enough to believe Indians are Jews has got to be more sane than me.
“They do believe that each of us has the POTENTIAL to someday become a god and have is own planet and create souls to worship him.”
Which I believe too. That’s why I committed suicide this morning “for the good of mankind”, and came back as a God to rule my planet Earth. And you are calling me off my rocker.
“They believe that the holy trinity is three separate entities each self aware and godlike. They believe that god the father has many many planets of humans and that our planet earth is assigned to the care of his son jesus. There is only one such planet in care of jesus. WE are unique in that respect. Earth is like a training assignment for jesus. We are destined to always be his favorites since we are his first.”
Well, when you put it that way, they seem Almost montheistic.
“Mormons do tend to believe in UFOs. They do believe that some or at least one of the bible prophets was visited by a space ship. I can’t recall specifics on this.”
I haven’t even addressed that issue. But now that you mention it, that is obviously another sign that everything I say comes from pure bigotry based on nothing. After all, anyone who believes in UFO’s must be a nice person.
“Now, I didn’t look any of this up on the screwy internet. This all comes from memory. It is a little fuzzy so I can’t guarantee accuracy.”
Thanks for holding me to a higher degree of accuracy, while at the same time claiming I’m off my rocker. I guess this shows who is telling the truth.
I don’t know what you mean by your list of crooked mormons. I don’t know what you mean by putting up a thousand dollars. Are you referring to a wager? That’s a little weird.
I should also add that many of my relatives were also lutheran and presbyterian. I went to church with my grandparents to a nondenominational church. Near as I can tell, this church was lutheranish.
Magic underwear? Get real man.