Well of course they aren’t military families.
They are mobsters. They help in their own ways. Tony was assisting in the war on terror, just like his grandfather watched the docks in Brooklyn in WW2. For his son to go in the army and get his legs blown off must be a horrific thought for him, especially when he can take over the family biz and get wacked instead.
For David Chase, the only thought that would come to mind to the wife or Tony is that his son gets his legs blown off, because that is in fact all soldiers ever do, die, get wounded, or screw up.
My neighbor served three tours in Iraq.
I am sort of venting some of his comments.
He called it the “fantasy scenario for people who pretend to give a crap about the military but know nothing other than that they pretend to be the smartest person in the room when they are actually dumb as S—t”.