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help with a young child and loss of a pet (BIG TIME VANITY)

Posted on 04/17/2007 6:30:34 PM PDT by randyclark

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To: Enosh

A better translation of 8:23 goes “And not only this, but...” The NASB is Correct. Sorry.


101 posted on 04/22/2007 5:09:05 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck
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To: HiTech RedNeck

KJV says “they.”

We’re getting silly here...


102 posted on 04/22/2007 5:19:21 PM PDT by Enosh (†)
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To: randyclark

We had to put down our boxer Chelsea when my daughter was 4 and my son was 1. My husband and I cried for days. It was one of the most heart-breaking things I’ve ever endured. We did not run out and buy a new pet, then again, we still had our bulldog, so it was not like we were petless as a result.
I don’t know if getting another pet is a good idea or not. I would be afraid that it would leave the kids with the impression that pets are disposable and readily replaced. Then again, if you have a child that is reall struggling wih it emotionally, it might be an appropriate distraction.

We took it as an opportunity to teach our daughter about coping with death. After dinner that night, we all shared our favorite stories about Chelsea. We laughed a lot and cried a lot that night. We also reminded our daughter about how ill the Chelsea had been, and told her even though we missed her, it was a blessing that Chelsea was not suffering anymore.

That was over two years ago, and we STILL tell Chelsea stories from time to time. We’ve gotten past the crying at least and the kids seemed to have handled it quite well.

You know your family best. Due what your gut tells you.


103 posted on 04/22/2007 5:23:48 PM PDT by Juana la Loca
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To: randyclark

We had to put down our boxer Chelsea when my daughter was 4 and my son was 1. My husband and I cried for days. It was one of the most heart-breaking things I’ve ever endured. We did not run out and buy a new pet, then again, we still had our bulldog, so it was not like we were petless as a result.
I don’t know if getting another pet is a good idea or not. I would be afraid that it would leave the kids with the impression that pets are disposable and readily replaced. Then again, if you have a child that is reall struggling wih it emotionally, it might be an appropriate distraction.

We took it as an opportunity to teach our daughter about coping with death. After dinner that night, we all shared our favorite stories about Chelsea. We laughed a lot and cried a lot that night. We also reminded our daughter about how ill the Chelsea had been, and told her even though we missed her, it was a blessing that Chelsea was not suffering anymore.

That was over two years ago, and we STILL tell Chelsea stories from time to time. We’ve gotten past the crying at least and the kids seemed to have handled it quite well.

You know your family best. Do what your gut tells you to.


104 posted on 04/22/2007 5:25:11 PM PDT by Juana la Loca
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To: Enosh; Recovering Ex-hippie; randyclark; basil; Dianna
Additionally, jolly St. Nick is real.

There is a big difference between a 3rd-century Turkish saint and the mythological Santa Claus we tell children about in America.

Every adult knows that there is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy, but we find that it brings happiness to children to believe in these things when they are young. I don't have a problem with telling my son, who was still 2 years old at Christmas, about Santa Claus. Likewise, even though, as an atheist, I don't really believe in heaven, I wouldn't be troubled with introducing the idea of doggie heaven if it made my son feel better after the death of a pet.

My attitude is to let people have their own beliefs. But I think that even devout believers should not let theological purity take precedence over the peace of mind of a young child.

Scripture doesn't address this at all, so there's no contradiction.

Since Santa Claus is a god-like figure, millions of children essentially pray to him, and we make graven images of him, wouldn't some of the Commandments apply?

105 posted on 04/22/2007 5:26:03 PM PDT by wideminded
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To: randyclark

I read about half the replies so forgive me if this has been mentioned.

My advice it to help your son mourn. Sit him on your lap and explain to him what happened (in a way that is age appropriate). Hold him and rock him and let him cry. Listen to him if he wants to talk about your dog. Let him tell you how he feels and show genuine interest. If he wants to draw pictures of the dog or look at old pictures or home movies then do that.

How to handle something like this for a child is close to the same way you would handle it for an adult or anyone. Just remember that he’s young and won’t be able to really comprehend death at this point. Love him and let him express his feelings, that’s my advice.

I would NOT get another dog just because your dog died. Get another dog because you have the desire, the time, the money and the ability to train it and care for it properly. All dogs are great IMO but no dog can replace the one you just lost.


106 posted on 04/22/2007 5:30:43 PM PDT by Miztiki (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left. Eccles. 10:4)
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To: wideminded
"Since Santa Claus is a god-like figure"

*Blink*

You lost me on that one.

107 posted on 04/22/2007 5:37:37 PM PDT by Enosh (†)
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To: All

I believe my first response to this thread was, “Tell him the truth.”

That applies to the Bible as well.


108 posted on 04/22/2007 5:42:10 PM PDT by Enosh (†)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

check out the book I mentioned in post 35.
Doggie Heaven Rules!!!!


109 posted on 04/22/2007 5:44:57 PM PDT by Recovering Ex-hippie (We need a troop surge in New Orleans and Philly!)
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To: randyclark
I offer you my sympathy on the passing of your family friend. I had to put down my 15 year old Staffordshire 4 years ago and it made the death more difficult because I had to be involved in the decision. Always remember the unconditional love that he gave you and your family.

As for how to handle this with your son, I would suggest that perhaps you could provide him with a framed picture of the pet to keep wherever he wants to keep it. If he was fond of the animal, it may help with him with the loss.

110 posted on 04/22/2007 5:51:54 PM PDT by JustaDumbBlonde (America: Home of the Free Because of the Brave)
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To: Old_Mil; freemama

Hello? What Freemama wrote is the best advice I’ve read in response to this thread. Sounds like she has real life experience with kids and explaning things.

When my brother and sister and I were 6, 4, and 2, my father accidentally ran over one of our kittens. We had TONS of questions that we asked over and over and my parents patiently answered. A couple weeks later our little sister (8 months old) died. The kitten’s death helped to prepare us for understanding her death.

I just talked to my 2 1/2 year old niece a couple days ago. She told me that her pet chicken had died, and now she had a new one. My sister had initially told her that “Neffertiti died. She went away.” That was enough explanation of an explanation so that she associated “death” with “going away”. She seems to be satsified with that explanation. For now. :)

You cannot protect children from the reality of death. It’s best to explain it when it happens at a level relevant to their age and understanding. You never know when someone close to them may die and it’s best they are prepared by less significant deaths as they come along.


111 posted on 04/22/2007 5:54:26 PM PDT by TruthSetsUFree
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To: Enosh
"god

2. A being of supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people, especially a male deity thought to control some part of nature or reality."

- dictionary.com (American Heritage Dictionary)

112 posted on 04/22/2007 6:29:44 PM PDT by wideminded
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie
bEAUTIFUL FACE...LIKE A MOVIE STAR!!

Thank you from Jessie (I think!).

113 posted on 04/22/2007 7:02:37 PM PDT by Northern Alliance
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To: TruthSetsUFree

Thanks, Truth.

I have 3 kids of my own. I also worked in a veterinary clinic for a couple of years. Saw lots of pets die and helped a few parents think about how to explain it to their children.

Very sad about your little sister. I am glad your parents were able to help you before it happened by explaining death through that little kitten. You are right when you say you cannot protect children from the reality of death. Explaining it at the right time and at an appropriate level really is the trick, isn’t it?


114 posted on 04/23/2007 12:17:48 PM PDT by freemama
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To: randyclark
I haven’t read all the posts, this may have been mentioned. Here is a pet loss survey but at the bottom are some links to dealing with grief. Someone there might have a suggestion for helping a child.

I am so sorry about your doggie.

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~cmhenry/

115 posted on 04/23/2007 12:23:39 PM PDT by A knight without armor
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To: Joe 6-pack

Ok, so I looked at your home page to see your dogs. Beautiful.

I am Intruder #02373


116 posted on 04/23/2007 12:30:39 PM PDT by barker ( A smile is a curved line that sets things straight.)
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To: randyclark

This is my favorite poem for the loss of a pet

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

The Rainbow Bridge


117 posted on 04/23/2007 12:33:18 PM PDT by april15Bendovr
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