"Make 'em dry," he wrote, "Make 'em rubbery. If you have to keep 'em fresh, do it by scrubbing them once a week."
However, I will admit to some very guilty pleasures, but I must keep this hush-hush and NEVER be heard to admit it:
The British make a thing called “Mint Lamb”, and it is delicious. It is roast leg of lamb, with mint in it, and mint jelly on it. Very good.
Also, the staple fare of Shepherd’s Pie is good in England.
The large English breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon, beans and tomatoes is good (granted, it’s hard to screw up an egg).
Greasy fish and chips are a staple, and the fish part, anyway, is good (if definitely not good for you).
An English stew, or an Irish stew, is really nothing other than a pot-au-feu. The only difference is in the seasoning, but I have had English stews in England that were properly seasoned and good.
Yorkshire pudding is not bad.
The English cook beef as well as anyone, when they roast it. Boiling good beef is unfortunate, but I have had good roast beef in England.
And finally (my citizenship could be revoked for this admission), I actually like steak and kidney pie. I never would have tried it but for being in a place where there was nothing open but a pub, nothing to eat in the pub but steak and kidney pie (it was a holiday) or bags of crisps. So I gagged and ordered the pie.
It was good.
Actually, it is very, very good. Very filling and savoury.
The name is appalling. The appearance is unpleasant: a dull thick crust under which body parts are strewn. The steam coming off it has that faint aroma of urine which hot kidneys do. But it was nevertheless delicious to the taste.
And the English make good ales. I like English ales.
We must not get carried away. I have had haggis at the Printemps Celt celebration had in spring in Paris. Haggis looks horrid. It doesn’t taste horrid, really, but it’s definitely a food you try to try, but don’t go looking for when you go back. Similarly English deserts. Creme-puffs are actually nice. Jiggling jello is alarming, especially when it is meat jelly. This is the part of the canned product which is normally discarded in other countries. However, whenever I find myself in England, I do tend to prefer English breakfasts, and I always make a point of going to a likely looking pub and having a steak and kidney pie. But whenever I do it, I look around very carefully, and make sure that I go alone. Steak and kidney pie is my guilty English food pleasure.
I will not say that the English get a “bad rap” for their food. I will say, rather, that I have an appetite for certain foods which most people might consider bad.
But steak and kidney pie is my guilty English pleasure.
I like it.
This is a disgrace to my race.
Forget the "sandwiches behind the bar" most pubs serve a good shepherd's pie; ploughman's lunch (cheeses with fresh bread and optional pickled onions). Many of them offer a carvery - a choice of cooked meats carved to order with a selection of salads. Some will also serve fish and chips - and a good soup is almost always available.