But I know this, when hatred exists within families, there is usually a damn good reason.
The reason I see him as a jerk is because he is the one putting this story out there. I can think of no other reason for him to do this than to put the screws to his sister.
I strongly disagree with that attitude that one-upping a sibling or other relation is more important than retaining a sense of humanity and fairness, because, in the final analysis, that is what you are attempting to justify.