Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Hmmmmm. Both? As a tag team?
"Saintly? What are you talking about? More likely he's one of those folks who just needs killin. She's certainly not refusing the transplant for no good reason." UNREAL!
;-)
I'll take it back if there's more to the story. But there would have to be much, much more.
Keep me posted. I'm not holding my breath for any huge revelations, though.
Absolutely not. Even if I didn't care for some relative (which is not the case, fortunately), my regard for my family as a whole would guarantee that I would not act in such a small minded fashion that I would treat him or her any worse than I would a total stranger.
I have always had a low regard for those who in such a cowardly manner deliberately abuse those close to them in such a manner. This woman is not just victimizing her brother, but his whole family through him. That's the mentality of those who are unfeelingly capable of committing inhuman atrocities, IMO.
I strongly disagree with that attitude that one-upping a sibling or other relation is more important than retaining a sense of humanity and fairness, because, in the final analysis, that is what you are attempting to justify.
I'm glad to say that I donated platelets to give several years of life to a family member who I'm sure had done more to damage me in the past than this guy could have done to his sister, assuming he did anything significant in fact.
I don't know why many people think it's so desirable to wind up with the 'biggest asshole' trophy, particularly at the cost of others' lives.
LOL! I guess "coughed up" might be worthless!!!
:-o
:-)
Yes, "an utter worm" is an intelligently-debated statement.
Oh-my.
I concur.
That's OK.
When mom made liver amd onions, I had a P & J.
I've been tryin' to say it; but I was called a worm for my efforts. sigh....
California patriot called me a worm and told me to put a sock in it...all when he claimed that my debating skills were not solid.
;-)
LOL! Why DO mothers insist on un-delicious healthy food when there are so many delicious healthy foods???
Personally, I never understood cooked spinach...
Since my bone marrow transplant, I eat things I used to hate!
Including spinach!
COOKED????
(I love it in salad--of course, I'll eat anything with ranch dressing on it.)
I used to hate anything with garlic.
Now I'll eat a raw clove.
Same with hot stuff. I love it now.
Take young spinach and pan sear it in a butter/olive oil mixture, with garlic salt and coarse ground pepper.
Yummy!
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