Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
According to my birth certificate I'm 46.
But going by my bone marrow birthday, I'll be 16 in November.
Puberty and hormones all over again! ;^)
After looking at the two posts, I still don't see any mention of the partner being female.
Btw, I don't care one way or the other what sex her partner is. Her refusal to help her brother is despicable regardless of her sexual orientation.
"How about he did something so bad that she would not be sorry to see him leave this life. How about she has suffered all her life from the lasting effects of his behavior. "
If this were the case, why would she let her children play with her brother's children.
I guess we aren't all part of the human race.
Could be, but not necessarily.
I have been blessed with a cousin who, I have absolutely no doubt, would be more than happy to refuse me or various other family members the gift of life.
She is mean and crazy and is a person to be avoided.
She has single-handedly caused more pain and suffering in our little town, especially within our family, than I ever knew was possible to be created by one woman.
She, too, would be immune to the suffering of the children who will lose a parent if she were to refuse to help the father.
I know this because listed amongst a litany of other spiteful, hateful, well-planned, and damaging actions carried out through the years toward her favorite enemy de jour is the time she purposely hurt my child in order to hurt me.
Some people have their own secret mental/emotional motivators which are beyond the comprehension of those of us who are within a normal range of emotional balance.
My sister had Hodgkins Lymphoma, and had to have her bone marrow tested. She said it was excruciating. What I don't understand is.......why the hell didn't they put her out. The dentist put me out to extract teeth!
I think it's more PC to force someone to give a part of them they don't want to give up. It used to be that people gave out of the charity of their hearts. Now, it looks as though we're going to try to force them to give it up, so we can decide what is the right use for it."We're going to take things away from you" because we know what's best to do with them?
If we don't feed the world, we are "in effect" killing those who are hungry.
After all, we have the food.
I am enraged by this.
Giving bone marrow was one of the best experiences of my life. I can't even imagine saying "no" to donating when you hear your name is a match. The news hits you like a thunder bolt. I mean there's really nothing like hearing that someone's life is entirely in your hands. I feel like I'm fumbling for words here, but there's no real way to describe the feeling.
She says she worried about her family? Her kids are going to find out eventually that she let their Uncle die. What about her family then? How could her children have any respect for her?
I am appalled. I haven't felt this enraged by a news story ever.
We do not KNOW that she "smirked." We do know that the wife who wants to bleed our hearts SAYS that she "smirked."
You think that's cold.-My sister died of cancer and the other members of my family didn't tell me until a week after her funeral.Everybody had my phone number.
Airborn, for you...I'd cough up a kidney.
:-)
Put a sock in it. Those are completely different situations. People like you give conservatives and libertarians a bad name.
Sorry to hear you have a viper in the family. That could be very trying indeed.
Sounds to me like you're almost as cold-hearted as this vile woman.
Oh, gee...I'm sorry that you cannot accept that I have a different opinion without your needing to tell me to put a sock in it.
How noble of you.
I guess debate is unacceptable to you: All we can do is cry out our emotions?
Okay.
Thank you for the condolences!
She leaves me alone since I developed the habit of shining light on the vile tentacles of the webs she so enjoys weaving.
;-)
Beautiful post.
Thanks for posting.
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