Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty who has a rare tissue type could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I cant believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebeccas coat which said: 'Please dont let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Prettys Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Prettys wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Dont you care if your brother dies?' She said 'Its very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sisters solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Sitting by the side of a swimming pool, sipping a cold one, and casually watching a child struggle for his life and then drown, is legal-- As the self-absorbed infants on this thread would yammer, "the kid isn't entitled to you saving him." --but don't you think it would constitute evil? I do.
And this woman's posturing is evil as well.
Then she wouldn't be a match. She'd be incompatible.
Im on the national donor registry. I get letters periodically asking if Im still willing and able to donate. If called to donate Ill do it, but Ill be scared to death.
Regards,
Rubber_Nose
Yeah, that thought *does* spring to mind.
"Ooh, look... bone marrow!"
I don't. Sorry about you.
It's the wife of the angry brother who made the claim that she smirked. She's not impartial in this agressively-slamming article.
"Frankly I don't know why this already isn't the law"
There ought to be a law against people thinking laws will fix everything.
"We need your liver"
"But I'm using it!"
"You signed here on form XYZ-23 that we could have your liver if you were in a fatal car crash."
"But I'm still alive."
"That doesn't matter. Once we have your liver and you are officially dead, that fender bender will be recorded as fatal."
No. I've tried to run through the worst ones in my mind. The ones that scammed my Grandmother, the ones that repeatedly made my Mother cry. No, I would go through bone marrow donation before I would let them die. Regardless of what my family would think of me for turning them down, regardless of what God would think of me for turning them down, I could not go to sleep at night knowing I let them die.
I realize that, but follow the timeline: She agreed to be a donor and was matched. He goes into remission. Then he gets worse and she refuses to cooperate. Something besides spite happened in that intervening time, and I would reckon that it's something about her that she doesn't want the family finding out about.
Maybe he has something she doesn't? A conscience?
How about just shocked that she's not showing an ounce of humanity for her brother?
If he did something "so bad" I doubt that she'd have her kids around him.
She deserves the public humiliation. There was a time when public humilliation was the acceptable result for being selfish or doing wrong.
Now it's "her body, her right." blech
Can't think of any myself.
Does it say anywhere in the article that her partner is a woman? Partners of both sexes are common in England. Marriage is a bit outdated for a lot of people these days. :(
I keep trying to find differences between us and the wacko left, but threads like this one keep knocking them down, one by one. I chose to respond to you, because of your screen name. Ironic.....
Hard to tell who's more selfish?
I'm flabbergasted!
I have children, and you can bet that I would beg a sibling for his bone marrow if it meant my children wouldn't have to lose me. Of course, since some of them have already lost their first mother, I might have stronger feelings than some here.
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