"my kids flat out told me they would NEVER accept a step-parent, whether one of us died or divorced. i believe them and i can't blame them."
Those are some really selfish kids, if they are adults and talk like this. Guess they prefer a widowed parent spend the rest of his/her life lonely than risk losing a dime of their "deserved" inheritance.
Anybody that selfish would probably not want to be burdened with taking care of that lonely parent when this parent becomes older and dependent. After all, wouldn't want them to have to "accept" something that makes them uncomfortable or puts them out in any way.
Sad.
my kids are 12, 15, and 18 and are conscious of the fact that they are in a loving, supportive traditional family when so many of their friends are products of divorced, dysfunctional and blended families. i think their feelings are directly related to seeing how much better off they are, as far as a family situation, than those of their peers. but feel free to rage on about selfish children. mine are stable, well balanced and loving.
Well put! You said it better than I did.