I am going to qualify my post by saying that I am not a fan of Rudy or his treatment of his wives.
Not all stepmoms are the devil incarnate, however.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and my brother was 3. I honestly don't know what contributed to the breakup of the marriage, but I suspect there were some maturity issues since they married young. And yes, at the time it really sucked to have my parents break up.
Each of my parents remarried about 2.5 years later (within a week of each other, first Dad, and then Mom). My stepmom was 22 (Dad was 30), just out of college, and inheriting 2 kids from my dad's first marriage, but she rose to the task. The following year, I had a half-brother who was just a joy to my brother and me.
My stepmother and dad had a wonderful marriage (not perfect, but she was obviously very good for him and I saw a lot of improvement in him in the time they were married).
Unfortunately, after less than 8 years of marriage, my dad died unexpectedly at the age of 38. My stepmom was a 30 y.o. widow raising a 7 year old son alone, several hundred miles away from family. Instead of uprooting my half-brother from the only home he could remember, she continued to raise him in the home she and my dad had shared. She stayed at home as long as she could so she could be there for him, and she didn't even think of dating again until my little brother was a teenager. She just remarried 3.5 years ago.
My little brother (who will be 25 this June) turned out great--he was an excellent student, an Eagle Scout, and received an almost total scholarship to college. He got out of grad school last year and teaches music at a school in Jacksonville FL.
You could not meet a stronger yet more genteel Southern woman than my stepmom (and she was raised a Yankee!) She has a strong Catholic faith and a heart bigger than Texas.
(And just in case anyone is wondering, I also ended up with an awesome stepdad who is still married to my mom after 25 years...he became like another father to us, especially after our dad died. Since this article seems to focus on stepmoms, I thought I would highlight my own wonderful example.)
your stepmom sounds great and i think what was key is what i highlighted above. she obviously put your half-brother first and herself second. she gave him a stable and loving, albeit single family home. she postponed her own fulfillment til her job was done. that speaks volumes of her and you have every right to be proud. kids NEED to be the center of your universe til they are grown. problems develop when they are playing second fiddle to the parents needs/wants.
This is true maturity; not a lot of evidence of this from many of the comments on this thread.