And teach them to divide and conquer based on their own whims and wants instead of what is right...
Let them, as adults, think they have as much say as your partner and spouse...
Please....the adult child her acted more child than adult and I would be horrified if my children, regardless of age, behaved this disrespectfully to their father AND his wife...
I am also fairly certain that these same children expected their father's household income, which included the new wife's contributions, to pay for college, the wedding, guilt gifts etc.
This woman behaved like a spoiled brat...she is starting a new life with a man but still wants to effect his father's life in such a way that it causes a wedge with the new wife and he will suffer in old age partnerless...yeah...real classy
They probably learned this from the example set by their parents who divorced, based on their on whims and desires instead of what is right.
Let them, as adults, think they have as much say as your partner and spouse...
What right does one adult have over another adult, merely that they are someone's partner and spouse ?
Please....the adult child her acted more child than adult and I would be horrified if my children, regardless of age, behaved this disrespectfully to their father AND his wife...
Probably because this child did not have you for a parent, likely this adult child behaves this way because of the modeling of the parents.
I am also fairly certain that these same children expected their father's household income, which included the new wife's contributions, to pay for college, the wedding, guilt gifts etc.
Hmmmm....may be they expected this and it did not materialize. Statistics for non-custodial fathers indicate that the majority do not contribute to college expenses. Now before I get flamed, those are the statistics; having been on this forum and read the comments by many men, these men are often shoved out of the picture by exes who are, to borrow your phrase "rhymes with a witch."
Statistics also indicate that children of divorce are much less likely to receive support from either parent for college expenses.
There's much about this story that neither one of us knows.
Was the new wife a contributing factor to the divorce? How long had she been the wife: was this the first family milestone that she expected to participate in, or were there graduations, school functions, sports contests, where she had been rebuffed. Did the father participate in these functions ?
Did the father, in fact, pay any wedding expenses ? If he did, and the invitations had gone out some time in advance, why didn't he stand up for his new wife at that time ?
Or was his role as an observer only ? If so, why ?
If he did pay for expenses, then this second wife has worse problems than not being invited to this wedding. She has married a milquetoast.
Finally, if this wife really wants to have a place in her stepdaughter's life and heal what rift exists, I stand by my original assertion.
She should be a model of grace and class, something that may have been lacking in this young woman's life, extend herself to the daughter and see what happens. Those who are older have had more time on this earth to develop character; they can model that to those who are younger and in need of such demonstrations.