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I am divorced from my first husband. I call my son from this marriage weekly. He is married with 5 children. My second husband and I fly out to visit them at least twice a year. The oldest grandchild has flown out to see us twice. ( She is a very sweet 14 year old now.)

It is so sad. Last week on the phone he expressed his bitter disappointment that his father never calls him. My son is the one who calls him on Christmas. His father has never made the effort to seen his grandchildren.

My advice to my son was to honor his father, even if he is the one who has to make all the advances. It is a commandment of the Lord for him to be respectful. Even if his father never returns the favor, my son is, in the process, teaching his children ( by his example) to respect himself as their father. ( What goes round, comes round.)

Truth Conquers, if you have children, then I recommend that you be formally polite to your own father, unless he is criminally toxic. If you totally erase your father from your life, you are teaching your own children that it would be OK to treat you and your wife the in same way.

By formally polite, I mean that you should not be buddy-buddy, or expect him to have a grandfatherly relationship with your children. He should not be invited to sit in your family's lap. But,,birthday cards, Christmas cards, and invitations to formal and large family events ( where there is safety in numbers) might be appropriate. Be prayerful about this and God will direct your path.

Remember, you would not be doing this for your father, but to teach your children to respect you.

I actually understand what you are saying. I have struggled with this issue long before and occasionally since this happened. I have prayed over this many times. I still know that my father is psychologically destructive. My mom is a narcissist, and I believe my father is a sociopath. He lies at the drop of a hat. There are many more things that I could point out , but I have said enough.

My daughter sees my mom and I use that to try to teach her to honor and respect her, just because of who she is. My mom still likes to call my 13 soon to be 14 daughter by babies names. I have my work cut out for me there.

My daughter hates my family enough as it is. My family is pretty messed up. Somehow God has helped me. At least my husbands family is strong and there are good examples there to show my daughter that not all parents are as messed up as mine. She sees both of us talk and care about both of his parents alot. I actually get along better with my in-laws. That always amazes me and makes me sad. I hope that will help her understand these issues as she grows.