Ohter than banning bulk advertising to specific individuals...I don't know how to get around this. You could mandate an xref of lists vs death records in a given area, but that seems impractical if the list entry point and the death are decades apart . It would also be pretty damned intrusive.
I guess we should just ban unsolicited advertising to specific addresses....
It's unfair on an emotional level, but there isn't much you can do about it, honestly. I feel for this poor person though to have to be reminded daily of their child's death.