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To: G Larry
I'm saying...don't shut up, ever. Decide upon your boundaries, and enforce your boundaries, especially with an existing family unit.

Most men go through the courtship period with company manners, which means we avoid conflict. That time shouldn't be a matter of not rocking the boat...it should be a time of setting expectations. If she has a problem with your expectations, then you have to seriously consider if you have a future together.

She should do the same. You should (IMO) have a clear idea about what your marriage would be like before you say yes.

Men can be wimps. We shouldn't blame women for the situations we helped create. Communicate clearly! If it's not going to work, acknowledge that before the wedding...and make sure you like your spot in the order of priorities.

I hope that spoke clearly.

278 posted on 01/23/2007 5:54:26 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: gogeo

I have always dated women who are older than me. It's a lot of fun. I only have things in common with ladies that are over 40. They all like to have a lot of fun also.


279 posted on 01/23/2007 6:25:23 PM PST by BobS
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To: gogeo

Ok, now I understand your meaning, but I certainly don't need the lecture.

I've NEVER shut up and that's why the relationships didn't work, because Mom and the kids knew exactly what I thought.
Yes I was diplomatic, but that wasn't the issue.

Having similar values is key in any relationship, but when kids are involved you better both be on the same exact page!
Of course if the joint custody Father is refereeing from a distance, forget it!

As noted in my first post, I could right the book, having been single all my life. (No live-ins either)
Knowing where NOT to comprimise is a key factor in my status. (3 engagements that ultimately revealed deal breaking issuse)


282 posted on 01/24/2007 4:07:21 AM PST by G Larry (Only strict constructionists on the Supreme Court!)
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