"I'm Just sayin that what actually constitutes victory in this fight is very different from what history would consider victory in past wars."
No. Its no different. As Clausewitz said "War is a continuation of politics by other means" and politics is the art of getting your way(diplomacy is the art of getting as many peoples' way as possible). Nothing has changed. Victory will be getting our, the US's way, a stable , non belligerent govt and if possible some kind of democracy.
I like to frame it a bit this way. War is the final step in diplomacy, rather than an absence of it.
What is different this time is that surrender will not be the measure, the simple fact that what a surrender would bring will already be present without it.
What will see it last is the fact that even though we are getting the things we want as you framed them, we will not be imposing them. They will chosen by their own free will.
This is what scares the terrorist entities the most. They fear that when people can choose by their own free will, they are less than likely to choose militant islam that keeps entire populations stuck in the 7th century.