Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd
...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...
...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.
When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....
...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?
Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
Great post.
Apples to oranges, in this situation. However, you are incorrect; there is an active surrogacy underground with many tragic and tangled fights over the children caught up in these transactions for money.
With respect, Ditter, I don't think this woman's situation is really as comparable to yours (as the mom of an adoptive mom and dad couple) as you appear to believe.
The woman is going through college and obviously doing what she needs to do to discharge her responsibilities. What makes you think that facing the drawbacks of her situation squarely will make her less able to survive? Living a lie or a fantasy is not a survival skill, either.
I don't know about adoptees other than to know that many of them have a great desire to know their biological parents. They can at least hope, pretend, make up stories about their missing biological parents as being beautiful, handsome, sorrowful about having to give them up, selfless, etc. You can't fool yourself about how disengaged your daddy was when you are the offspring of a sperm donor, who was probably paid to "donate"nor can you escape how self absorbed your mother was. It's very sad. I feel extremely sorry for such children as they know exactly what kind of selfish persons both of their parents were/are.
You say BooHoo..this kid was cheated out of a Dad. I feel bad for these children
Many deaf persons could hear as children, learned to speak and gradually became deaf from illness, or suddenly became deaf from an accident. Others have imparied hearing to the point of legal deafness but still hear enough with amplification devices to learn to speak. I know both kinds of deaf people; one speaks flawlessly but cannot hear and must face you to read your lips.
Noticable uptick, indeed.
It's hard to manuever without stepping in something nasty!
Reading comprehension: "he" was a "she."
Your explanations are so clear and patient; much more patient than I feel with these heartless posts.
As an adopted child myself, I would hope the people who got on here and ranted that the author should just shut up and be grateful never decide to adopt themselves. Imagine how messed up THEIR adoptees would be...!!
OMG hey what did another freeper said every FR thread is potential Star Wars thread LOL!
OMG hey what did another freeper said every FR thread is potential Star Wars thread LOL!
I haven't had time to freep today - just catching up on some of this thread.
You're doing such a great job standing up for the truth. Amazing how many people are completely blind to what I can only call the facts of life.
There are many reasons why it takes a man and a woman to conceive a child. Artificial conception is going to reveal more and more damage - to the children conceived, to the unborn it sacrifices, to the parents, both merely biological as well as the ones who raise the children.
It's a veritable Pandora's Box.
SEE? what did I tell you? Typical response of someone who doesnt understand the Adoption Triad, much less the Donor child - "just shut up and be grateful."
Ditter, thats a shitty attitude to take towards your adopted children. You have no idea whats coming down the pike for you do you? My suggestion : read Primal Wound.
Explain to me how IVF is an insult to human dignity.
Hehehe
Hey, Monk started it. LOL!
You going blame this Monk OKAYYY ROFL
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