[Salamander]

"Car keys border on useless."

Not if carried on one of those long neck-strap thingies popular these days.
Carry enough keys [and an army issue can opener] and a good swing of that's gonna leave a very memorable mark.

[bluetone006]

Never been in a fight have you? I mean a real fight where you are literally trying to kill your opponent and he is trying to kill you. Not a stupid bar brawl or a high school slap fest.

If you hit me full in the face with your keys I would blink and maybe bleed a little but otherwise not hesitate while I took you down and had my way with you. Please do not rely on your keys.