"And since my understanding is that they rarely ever spend any time together, one has to believe that she is committing adultery, unless she has a nun's habit hidden in her closet. "
She has an 8HP, Briggs & Stratton, electric start variable speed dildo hidden in there.
#670, YIKES!, you needed a Barf alert for that....
Aw c'mon -- no 8 hp engine would fit between those thighs.