Pick any of the following:
One French Fry short of a Happy Meal.
One brick short of a load.
If he had a brain, it would be lonesome.
He couldn't cut soft butter with a hot knife!
He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
Half a bubble off plumb.
He paddles his own canoe.
He has his solar panels on the north side.
He would have told the captain of the Titanic, "Full Speed Ahead!"
He lives in a Tinker Toy castle.
His elevator doesn't go up to the top floor.
He's not playing with a full deck of cards.
He doesn't have both oars in the water.
The porch light is on but nobody is home.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
One enchilada short of a combo platter!
He couldn't pour pee out of his boot with the directions written on the heel.
Not the brightest lamp on the porch.
More useless than a football bat.
About as sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all the Cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Forgot to pay her brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution can go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
His brother was an only child.
A few bees short of a hive. (Pat, MS)
An egg roll short of a Pu Pu Platter.
His cord doesn't quite reach the outlet.
He's a few channels short of cable.
If clues were shoes he'd be barefooted.
If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose!
He's eating with only one chopstick.
ROTFLMAOPIMPWTIME!!!
Those are great, I was held at gunpoint and forced to steal them for personal use.
"He couldn't pour pee out of his boot with the directions written on the heel."