Q: Why does Clemson have astro turf on their football field?
A: To keep their cheerleaders from grazing at half-time.
Q: Why do Clemson students not get speeding tickets?
A: Tractors don't do over 35MPH.
You're probably an Auburn fan if ...
... You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
... Your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
... You won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.