Affection is for the most part a very basic need for women and if a man is not providing his woman's need then that is a failure. And I'm not talking about the self-conscious kind of affection that is only doing it to "do what's right" but a confident, unself-centered consistent and sincere affection (a woman can easily spot the fake kind.) This will work wonders on many a hard-nosed woman. So sorry, but no. You are chasing your tail. If people are not ultimately responsible for their own actions and decisions, then no one is responsible for anything.
In your example...could not the man just say that he would be more loving, if she was?
In your example...could not the man just say that he would be more loving, if she was? There's the attitude...pride.
Drop the pride. Give a woman what she needs. That's a real man. One without a chip on his shoulder.