Dear FRiend,
I never fail to cry at that stupid TV commercial about depression, where it affects everyone around you, and you see the screen shot of the poor doggy holding on to his leash, and there is no one to take him for a walk. Depression is like that, you just don't care.
For me, depression was always just wanting to stay in bed, the covers over my head, and a bad of Chips Ahoy at my side. You see, food for me is alcohol for you. The world was just too damn scary, too many liberals, too many terrorists, too many people making my life a living hell. That black hole is a scary place, cause you truly believe there is no way out. I know I have been there.... more times that I care to remember.
The worst part of that black hole? The darkness is so thick and all consuming, you do not realize that other people are their with you. Do you think you are the only one who has felt this bad? I bet their are a few million of us who could talk of this place like some people talk about the trip to 6-Flags or Vegas.
But none of that matters right now, your head ready to explode. I know that feeling too. I also know that a drink will only make the pain go away for a little while, than come back with a vengeance, along with whatever you did while drinking. All of those so called friends you have while drinking are only that, drinking friends, and yes, get sober and they will hate you. So what, part of that hate is because you can beat this and they cannot.
What to do, what to do, that is the dilemma. That is up to you. My husband, a recovering alcoholic, took up golf. I just got out of bed, and keep myself busy so I don't crawl back in (and I will tell you, sometimes it is SOOOO hard to get out of bed, but I do it, I have to)
You are very special, you know that? I do not know you, I could walk past you on the street and not know your face, but I cried when I read your letter, because I could have written it! Word for word, tear for tear. I would be more than willing to email with you privately if that will help you. Don't wonder why I would do that, just do it OK. Gods children must stick together in this scary world, because if we don't find strength from each other, where can we find it from?
Donna
backinthefold
God bless you!! As I recovered from my own depression, I discovered God's Great Outdoors and now can't get enough of kayaking, camping, biking, snorkeling, etc. No stinkin' terrorist or liberal is going to deny me what God has given to us in His creation!