He knows everything you have done, even more than you do.
Handle it.
Get over the (false) pride, and don't cut yourself off from the one who can do something for you, who will never have somewhere else to be, or something so pressing you will have to wait.
Me and Jesus, mostly Jesus, 17 years sober.
Life isn't perfect, but then my idea of 'perfect' might not be His plan.
I sure do better in His hands than when I was holding the reins, so let go and let God show you the way.
It is easier if you get your head around one thing. You don't drink. Look at it that way.
As for the mess in your life, yep. It took a while to get it that way, it'll take a while to straighten it out--one step at a time, one problem at a time, one day at a time, life gets better. Don't overwhelm yourself with the big picture, do what you can, about what you can, when you can--and do not obscess about the rest.
God never gives you a problem without the means to solve it. Sometimes you can just get up and 'do something' and fix it. Other times, it does not work that way, so be patient. Let your actions speak to the world and save your words for meetings.
Remembering you in prayer,
Smokin' Joe
Caught John Hagee on TV the Sun we were away for PK Conference.
He had a good point:
That God gives a promise.
Then comes a problem.
Then comes provision.
And that if God gives a million dollar promise, we can be sure a million dollar sized problem is on the way.
This boot camp is to fashion us into the vessel that can bear a greater weight of Glory in eternity.
This life is not it. This is merely the front stoop.