I have read every word of this very moving thread. It is obvious that our FRiend is dealing with the cyclic emotional and physical strains of addiction recovery. Dark shadows of pain and doubt and surrender will wash over him time and again - I pray for his strength.
I am moved by other FReepers revealing their own addiction battles and especially those who have lost loved ones. Mrs. Lando lost her father to alcohol addiction. The pain, for her, remains fresh and real. I will never forget when she saw him for the first time after his passing. Her soft, barely audible, "Oh Daddy" will always echo in my soul. Her painful loss was magnified immensely because he chose to succumb. My point is this.....
If he is rash, the pain felt by our dear FRiend will manifest itself exponentially within those loved ones he holds most dear. But, if he stays on course, that pain will turn to joy for all.
I sincerely and most humbly pray for our FRiend.
Lando
Your story is a cautionary tale to all of us who might think that our addiction affects others besides ourselves, and that we can cause a great deal of pain through our lack of self control.
I am so sorry for your wife, and losing her father to this terrible problem...
Lets pray our FRiend and his family find the JOY of sobriety!
Rob