Your points are generally why developmental biologists ridicule developmental psychologists. (some don't even consider psychology a real science. Its just where you store those smart enough not to get an education degree but not smart enough for a real science degree)
The whole female behavior male behavior spectrum is an absurdity when it comes to sexual behavior. Homosexuality is recreational sex. period. It does NOTHING for society.
All the other "fluff" is irrelevant to the furtherance of society. Those same shrinks would say an unemployed between jobs father who stays home while looking for a job is exhibiting "female behavior" while that woman is doing "male behavior". So getting a hair cut at a salon is female behavior but a barber shop is male behavior.
There make be arguments for a "spectrum" when it comes to normal humans. However no matter how you slice it, homosexuality is always an abnormal behavior just like sex with animals or some other screwy sexual fetish.
This is about love...which is one of the main purposes of THIS universe. Some folks just happen to love the same sex.
And, if you don't think there are differences between men and women and that some traits are "feminine" and some are "masculine" and we all have both to varying degrees, then, you don't live on the same planet as me. Or, rather, you stick your head in the sand so as not to see the obvious.