[Allegra]

Good stuff. There must be a collection of much more of these luscious tidbits somewhere all in one place? Non?

I have a book of famous insults. My parents gave it to me when I was a teenager and I've kept it.

Winston Churchill and Mark Twain had some of the best in there.

[ChessExpert]

I didn't see enough from Mark Twain. I must admit that I cheated and used the Internet. Still, they are from Twain:

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.