“You shouldn’t let children mix the martinis. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.”
"Don't let your children call you by your first name. They don't know you well enough."
"Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add."
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying."
"Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word “collectible” as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success." --
Fran Lebowitz