I don't mean in my posts to sound like I've never gotten any joy or satisfaction from the kids. I've gotten boatloads of it. It's just been a struggle for me in a lot of ways, as I noted.
Our kids are literally a blessing. A few months after we got married, my wife started having agonizing pain and it turned out her ovaries were riddled with dermoid cysts and she had to have surgery. So having gotten two kids out of the three-fourths of one ovary she has remaining, we've done OK I guess. :)
How old are your kids? I've found that in early childhood, the Dad is pretty much in the way, and can easily become bored since he has no role that fits his "skills". When the kids get a little older (approaching 10) the father takes center stage and the mother recedes to the background. At this age, parenting is downright "fun" for a dad. Stressful, but "fun".
I didn't take your posts to mean you don't enjoy your children, not in the least. Like you, my husband and I got married late. Our daughter is 8, he's 51 and I'm about to turn 46.
I'm fine with just her, and her friend from down the road........anymore kids around and I literally freeze up. I can't handle it.
You and your wife are blessed, that sounds like a horrific time she went through.