Posted on 07/05/2006 2:01:58 PM PDT by ZGuy
It was nice to see the New York Times commemorating Independence Day this week with a tribute to its favorite Revolutionary War hero, Benedict Arnold. Times editor Bill Keller spent the day attending Revolutionary War battle re-enactments, where he passed the Continental Army's secret battle plans to the British.
Get Yours FREE! This week I plan to reveal my own top secret information: an interview I did with the New York Post the week my current No. 1 best seller, "Godless," was released. On account of an important breaking story on Angelina Jolie's new tattoo, the Post never found room to run the long interview I wasted my time answering for the Post's Larry Getlen.
Once considered a legitimate daily, the Post has been reduced to tabloid status best known for Page Six's breathless accounts of Paris Hilton's latest ruttings, and headlines like "Vampire Teen -- H.S. Girl Is Out for Blood." How crappy a newspaper is the Post? Let me put it this way: It's New York's second-crappiest paper.
Maybe the Post's constant harassment of me is an attempt to shake me down for protection money like they did with billionaire businessman Ron Burkle. I have sold a LOT of books -- more books, come to think of it, than any writers at the New York Post.
Here's Part 1:
NY POST: Vitriol aside for a moment, how would you define a liberal, politically speaking?
A: Naive, misinformed fanatical Mother Earth-worshipers and fervent America-haters -- and those are their good traits.
NY POST: In "Godless," you lump many views you disagree with under the banner of a liberal religion. But many Democrats (as with Republicans) disagree amongst themselves on many of these issues. Do you consider all Americans who vote Democrat to be liberals?
A: Or fools.
NY POST: How many liberals do you think there actually are in this country?
A: Way too many, but that's just a rough estimate. You know, somewhere in the ballpark of "way too many."
NY POST: Your books, like Bill O'Reilly's, generally go to No. 1. But so do Michael Moore's and Al Franken's. What do you think this says about the real nature of what Americans believe, politically and ideologically?
A: Judging by your list, that half of them are patriotic.
NY POST: In the last two presidential elections combined, the number of people who voted for the Democrat and the number who voted for the Republican were pretty close to even. Isn't it safe to say that the country rests somewhere in the middle of conservatism and liberalism?
A: Yes, I think the results of the last "American Idol" vote pretty much proved that.
NY POST: Your characterization of liberals paints them as extremists. But with people like Pat Robertson telling us how God keeps telling him who He's angry at, isn't it fair to say that there are extremists on both sides?
A: Pat Robertson opposes capital punishment, opposed the impeachment of Bill Clinton and supports trade with China, just for starters. Seems like a pretty mixed bag to me. So what makes you call him extreme? That he believes he has dialogue with the Lord? Do liberals now call anyone who thinks this an "extremist"?
NY POST: Do you believe there is a political middle? If so, how would you define it?
A: There is no more a "political middle" than there is a family in America with 2.3 children. People with opinions take sides. Contrary to what you've heard, it's actually more important to stand for something than it is for everybody to "just get along."
NY POST: You speak in the book of "Muslims' predilection for violence," accepting it as a given. But many would argue that many Muslims, in this country and others, lead average, everyday lives, and denounce violence. How is painting all Muslims as violent any different than looking at the Crusades, or at any of the Christian extremist groups around today, and saying, "All Christians are murderers?"
A: Quite obviously, referring to "Muslims' predilection for violence" is not the same as saying, "All Christians are murderers." It would be the same if I had said, "All Muslims are murderers." You didn't do too well on the analogies section of the SATs, did you?
NY POST: You say that "without a fundamental understanding of man's place in the world" (by which you mean God), we risk being lured into, among other things, slavery. But weren't the American slaveholders devout Christians?
A: They may have been devout Christians, but they weren't being good Christians by holding slaves. That's the point: Any Christian slaveholder had to violate Christianity to own slaves.
Thus -- and obviously -- the abolitionist movement was fueled by Christians, much as the anti-abortion movement is today.
I'm sure in the year 2106 some future Ann Coulter will be asked to explain why some Christians had abortions 100 years earlier. Christians sometimes lapse into the church of liberalism by doing bad things, just as liberals sometimes lapse into our church by doing good things.
(To be continued later this summer ...)
5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, 8because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.Masters are told to treat slaves "in the same way". That means Masters are told to9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way
obey your earthlySo, Ann seems to be right again.mastersslaves with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, 8because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
Colossians 41Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Slave owning is not condemned in the scriptures.
However, forcibly enslaving someone would be condemned.
Voluntary servitude is not condemned.
John 8:34Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. 37I know you are Abraham's descendants. Yet you are ready to kill me, because you have no room for my word. 38I am telling you what I have seen in the Father's presence, and you do what you have heard from your father.[c]"
The bible teaches we are all slaves and can only have one of two masters.
New Testament writers addressed the context of their culture. Slavery was an way of life in that day and age. Many people found themselves to be slaveholders through inheritance or property exchange. Then they became Christians. Many slaves had nowhere to go and no means of support if they were set free. In some cases it would have been evil to set your slaves free just to be rid of the expense of feeding them. The Bible teaches us to apply Christ's principles of selfless love no matter what situation we find ourselves in.
Pauls Instruction to Masters
9 And, masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.
Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven (Colossians 4:1).
It is interesting to note what is not said to masters, here or anywhere else in the Scriptures. It is not said that masters should free all their slaves. Instead, masters should submit themselves to God and should subordinate self-interest to serving others. Masters should use their position in such a way as to serve the best interests of those who are their slaves.
Can you imagine what a different place the Roman Empire would have been if every slave owner had used his position to benefit his slaves? The problem with authority is that sinners abuse it, using it for their own selfish gain at the expense of those under them. Paul calls for attitudes and actions which would set Christian masters apart from all others. He calls for actions which would likely cause a Christian slave owners peers to be greatly upset with him, for he would put a great deal of pressure on them by his practices.
Probably the most dramatic contrast which our text highlights between a Christian view of slaves and masters and that of the unbelieving culture of that time (and ours) is revealed by this command: Masters, do the same things to them.
In the world, there is a double standard, one for masters, and another for slaves. But with God there is one standard, for masters and slaves, for husbands or wives, for parents or children. All are slaves of Christ, and all are called upon to submit themselves one to another in the fear of Christ (5:21).
At first glance, one might think that Paul has much more to say to slaves than he does to masters. After all, he has four verses addressed to slaves (verses 5-8) and only one addressed to masters (verse 9). But Pauls words in verse 9 indicate that what he has said previously to slaves applies equally to masters. All Paul adds in verse 9 are a few additional words which more precisely apply the principle of submission to the circumstances of a slave owner.
There is but one specific command given to masters, and that is to give up threatening. Threatening must therefore have been a very common practice among slave owners. I think I know why. Consider these verses from the Book of Proverbs.
A slave will not be instructed by words alone; For though he understands, there will be no response (Proverbs 29:19).
He who pampers his slave from childhood Will in the end find him to be a son (Proverbs 29:21).
In these verses, we are being told how things are, not necessarily how things should be. Elsewhere we are told that a bribe accomplishes a great deal (Proverbs 17:8). This is not to say that bribes are good, for they are shown to be evil elsewhere (15:5; 17:23). But, in a fallen world where men and women are willing to set aside what is right for money, bribes work. So, too, in a fallen world where slaves rebel against their masters rather than submit to them, beating and threatening works, too.
But if Christian slaves serve their masters in an entirely different way than unbelieving slaves, Christian masters rule their slaves in a way that contrasts with the way unbelieving masters rule. Threatening seeks to produce obedience by instilling fear. Christian leadership seeks to motivate service through grace and gratitude. The reverence which the slave should have for his master should not be created by threats, but is the attitude of heart which a Christian slave should have in his heart toward his master because of the work of the Spirit (see verse 5 above). The service which is ideal is that which is rooted in the grace of a master toward his slave, and in the love of the slave for his master:
But if the slave plainly says, I love my master, my wife and my children; I will not go out as a free man, then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door of the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently (Exodus 21:5-6).
The slaves devotion to his master is the result of his relationship to Christ. So, too, the masters care for his slaves is the outgrowth of the masters relationship to the Master. The master is just as much a slave of Christ as his slave is. And just as the Christian slave obeys his earthly master, looking to God for his reward, so the slave master fulfills his obligation to his slaves, knowing that he will give answer to his Master, in heaven. And he knows as well that His Master will judge with justice, and not with partiality.
http://www.bible.org/page.asp?page_id=2460
Larry Getlen is a veteran comedy writer, stand-up comic, and journalist.
Larry Getlen is a regular contributor to many publications including The New York Post and Maxim, and has also written for Comedy Central and AMC. His next book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes, comes out in September through Alpha/Penguin, and you can find him online at myspace.com/larrygetlen
"I've written several books - including an unauthorized bio of a certain Federline-infected young babe that, for some reason, got my face all over British TV"
How about shortening it to "People with opinions take sides"?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.