[CalvaryJohn]

A penguin goes to a mechanic and says "My car's smoking". The mechanic asks for an hour to check the car out. The penguin heads across the street to the ice cream shop an orders a sundae. But seeing that penguins have no arms, he gets ice cream all over his beak. He heads back across the street and asks the mechanic "So,what's wrong with my car?". The mechanic looks at him and says "Looks like you blew a seal". The penguin says "No, it's just a little ice cream!!"

[WestVirginiaRebel]

A priest loved the cock and hens he kept behind his church, so naturally he was quite upset to find that the cock had disappeared. Knowing that cock fights were popular in town, he called in his parishoners and asked, "Has anyone here got a cock?"

All of the men stood up.

"No, that isn't what I meant," the priest said. "I mean, has anybody seen a cock?"

All of the women stood up.

"No, you still don't understand. What I mean is, has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half of the women stood up.

"Let me try this one more time," the priest said. "Now, has anybody seem MY cock?"

All of the nuns, two priests, three altar boys, and a goat stood up.