A drunk puts a quarter in a parking meter.. turns the handle, jumps back and says Woooaaaa!!.... I just lost 80lbs!
A rattlesnake bites the Lone Ranger in his crotch.
The Lone Ranger tells Tonto "ride back to town and ask the doctor what you should do".
Tonto rides back and asks the doctor. The doctor says "you need to suck out the venom from the snake bite".
Tonto rides back to the Lone Ranger and says "Sorry kemosabe, the doctor say you die."