The surgeon consoles him that a new, experimental procedure is available, whereby he could affix the trunk of a baby elephant to the stump.
"You should think about it. The elephant's trunk has three hundred and forty different muscle groups, and would be an obvious improvement in both size and control."
"Let's do it." The grieving man says.
Later, at home, he still hasn't told his wife. They're sitting at the breakfast table and the trunk lashes out from below the table, grabs a breakfast roll, and darts back below the table cloth. The man looks startled, and the wife says, "What was that?"
"Nothing." He says, searching for words that won't come.
As he meditates it happens again. His eyes pop wide open and his wife exclaims, "WHAT WAS THAT!"
The husband explains and his wife's disgust is mitigated when he describes the 340 muscle groups and improved size.
"Do it again." She says.
"I would, but I don't know if I can stand another breakfast roll up my a$$."
Patient: Well Doc, it is a irritating problem that I'm getting tired of as I get older. Every time I go the the bathroom and urinate, I can't seem to shake that last drop out and I'm tired of staining my underwear.
Doc: Let me do some quick research to see what we can do.
After researching through his AMA Journals, Doc comes back to his patient.
"I have found a solution. It will be simple procedure where I can implant a nose hair to the end of your penis. It is classified as In-Patient and I can do it right here in my Office.
The patient agreed and the procedure was done that day. Now when he goes to urinate, finishes and that last drop comes out, it rolls down the length on the implanted hair and.........SNIFF.
Mark and bump.