You can sit at your computer and ponder such questions. But don't pass judgement on those who are engaged is something about which you cannot know. Perhaps this quote from a famous American will bring you some solace.
It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it.
Hey trekie, get out of your scifi world and connect with reality. Our troops are trained not to execute civilians because it is against US and world law. Most, even accept increased casualties in order to avoid inflicting collaterol damage on civilians. Lining women and children up My Li fashion, if it occured, is NOT acceptable.