[beancounter13]

I understand completely. Early in our marriage my wife literally shocked me when she asked if I would teach her how to use my 9MM for self-defense. I then asked her if she could really use it to kill someone. After she thought a while, she said "no". I then explained to her that for her, the gun is a liability and I would not show her how to use it.

[Plain Old American]

teaching the wife to properly handle the 9 is a good idea even if you discourage her thinking of it as a self defense tool. If a situation does arise - she may change her mind, and the gun would be a real liability in untrained hands