Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
I would argue that moral absolutes are neither liberal nor conservative. There is no placement whatsoever on the political continuum for this trait.
Of course, I've always believed that moral absolutes simply means that some actions (or omission) are clearly right or wrong regardless of where you are politically.
It's also notable that this definition fits in with conservative principles--or as I sometimes like to say, conservative orthodoxy.
We believe in self-determination, but we also believe that there are some things that are just absolutely wrong. Notwithstanding those things which are clearly and inherently wrong, we as conservatives believe it's pretty much up to you to live your life as you see fit.
FreeRepublic.com is a forum where criticism of the opinions of others is allowed. I did not preach to you in the scriptural sense. However, the Galatians 6:7 Biblical verse is simply to remind people that our actions of today have consequences later.
One more time, if you think that teenagers using condoms represents responsibility, then you need a psycological examination of your sanity.
I don't have a problem with moral absolutes. My problem is with the people who feel compelled to pronounce them. They tend to come off as goody two shoe nags.
I tend to agree to a point--it's one thing to define them and then abide by them. It's a whole 'nother ball game to act like a holy roller about it...
Personally in these regards, I try not to act like a preacher but more like an umpire--just call the balls and strikes against what's commonly accepted...8^)
That's what they say about married women who choose to remain childless... we women just can't seem to win.
I thought that my brother and sister in law were going to be childless, but after seven years of marriage, they have become pregnant with a due date of 14 July. Wonders never cease. I would think that people should not consider people who don't have children as selfish or whatever because we don't know what their situation is or should we for that matter. I am not saying that you believe this or said it, but I have heard that from people before.
I hope all these women live very long lives,VERY ALONE AND VERY LONELY!
With children, I don't think that will happen especially if they are having children at an older age with I suspect most probably are. I know one example was the 25 year old, but I believe that is rare and most of these ladies are probably mid-30's and early-40's IMHO.
That's right. You were commenting on one specific case. The other posters were speaking in generalities. I see nothing wrong with speaking in general terms i.e. children will do better with married parents. It's great for the little girl that she got a good daddy but speaking in general terms an unmarried teenage girl should be encouraged to put the baby up for adoption.
Excellent point. It's not about genes. "I want my child to have blue eyes, good teeth, and thick hair but as far as how it will affect her mental well being and future not to have a father in it, who cares--at least she will look good."
I wouldn't say EVEN with free condoms . I would say BECAUSE of the mentality of free condoms there is little self responsibility, little self control, and little responsibility to others. Using a condom doesn't make you a responsible person.
I don't feel any animosity toward you. You are typed words on a screen, nothing more. And you can't "tell" very far.
I have a couple of "AlphaMale" friends who I've known since around my college days. Both handsome. Both well-built and athletic. Both never-married and now in their forties
I finally realized why they never married. They never needed to learn relationship skills. Whenever their current relationship hit a bump, it was always easier to move on to the next girl on the waiting list than to figure out a way to make the current relationship work
One thing I've noticed about women in relationships, is that there's a stage where she's decided that this is a guy she would like to commit to her. So she's on her best behavior and trying hard to convince the guy that she's the one he should settle down with. Mr AlphaMale is quite happy to let that stage extend as far as the girlfriend is willing to. But at the point where she's no longer willing to be on best behavior and starts getting antsy, he decides it's time to move on.
The first AlphaMale friend just broke up with latest girlfriend when I last talked with him. The second is currently trying to break up with his current 20-year-old girlfriend (22 years younger than him), but she's doing a "Fatal Attraction" bit on him, because she can't stand the thought of being dumped by him.
Why does AlphaMale do this? Because he can. Because for every AlphaMale there's a line of women who want him, and keep passing up with disinterest all the "Joe Shmoe"-types who would be willing to commit.
Back in my early days at a consulting company I worked at, the president's secretary was always chasing after one Mr AlphaMale after another. She was absolutely gorgeous, and extremely smart and capable. All the guys wanted to date her (myself included). She would not be satisfied with anyone less than an independently wealthy business owner. I met her many years later. She was 40, and still never married
They're probably not that, um, handy around the house...
Those are not the worst lyrics in the world as long as THIS song exists:
http://www.charlenesmusic.com/never.html
Crank your speakers up! :)
On a serious note, I suppose men don't value their chasity as much as they should nowadays. Promiscuity used to be a practice relegated to the social margins of neurotic leftists and the more disfunctional ethnic minorities.
As a public policy matter, we probably shouldn't allow artificial insemination to anyone except married couples with fertility problems and demonstrable good character.
Do you suppose there's some sort of political/economic constituency for the devaluation of men?
You are correct. What is really sad, is there is no picture or anything to indicate to the child who is the father. The child can never point to someone or some picture and say "that's my dad." I also see it as a degrading society. More and more men, especially as these children become adults, will have less and less respect for women. Then there is the Islam angle. I'm pretty sure the Muslims are not going this route. They are having children the old fashioned way and indoctinating the kids too.
Here is another problem. Giving creedence to a 13 year old, as if she has wisdom enough to know what is good or bad for her, physically and otherwise. It is always interesting to note how the media uses this to their advantage. When it is one of their protected groups, the person is considered a child - even if the person is 18 or 19. If not in the protected category - then it is a young man or woman. They play with words until they mean nothing.
"As a public policy matter, we probably shouldn't allow artificial insemination to anyone except married couples with fertility problems and demonstrable good character."
As long as we're on that slippery slope, we should also forbid "natural" breeding between people who can't demonstrate good character, or show they have enough money to actually afford a child.
Or, we can take the traditional conservative attitude that the government should not be making these decisions for individuals.
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