Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
Yes, because quite frankly, if Mr. Right never comes along, it's because he passed you by.
But don't you think that a single mother by choice brings a child into this world knowingly, and lovingly? What is worse, not knowing your father, or knowing you have a father who doesn't give a sh!t? My father only wanted me to avoid child support. He didn't give a crap about me whatsoever. And that hurt a lot. I would have rather not known anything about my father.
"Goodbye men, it was nice knowing you."
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
I guess you wn't be going anywhere soon.......because I have no idea of any Foreigner lyrics. About all I know is that it was some band that some people took a liking to at some time.
Foreigner -- the worst lyrics (ever)
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older
Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
That is an utter load of crap passed by one sheep to another.
Are you this charming with your children?
No, it isn't. It's a fact.
Our prisons are full of the children of bad fathers. Our criminal justice system exists because of them.
Some of us don't get our education from reading graffiti.
I think that was stolen from Russell Banks' Affliction...
Why? Because kids suddenly don't really need a father, as long as he got killed in Iraq before they were born? Or because it's suddenly okay for women to raise children for "selfish" reasons, because their husband got killed in Iraq?
Sure...in the same way a long term adultress "loves" her paramour. It is a very complex, convoluted mimicry of the virtuous version of a similar dynamic.
What is worse, not knowing your father, or knowing you have a father who doesn't give a sh!t? My father only wanted me to avoid child support. He didn't give a crap about me whatsoever. And that hurt a lot. I would have rather not known anything about my father.
When did this become a discussion about you and your ghosts?
But to answer your question, it's not about avoiding what's worst for the child, it's about doing what's best for the child.
One would think the "educated" would know better than to confuse coincidence with causation....
If you want to pretend there is no cause and effect, fine, but I'll let your choice label you.
We have a problem in America because fathers aren't doing their job. What rational conservative in America can disagree with that?
Try as you may, this is not about my demons. Spin it all you want. I'm glad my mother made the choice she did because it *was* in the best interest of her children. And I will always love her dearly for the sacrifices she made to raise us- God rest her soul.
I went back and looked and the posts regarding that and I just see a comment about 20 years of blah blah blah.....
So, in your mind 20 years means more than 18 years, which we will be celebrating in 2 weeks, in differentiating between familial and romantic? A bit judgemental on your part, isn't it?
I'm a lucky gal, after 18 years I still have all the romantic, along with the familial. And the parental and the financial including the good times and bad, and all the other things that encompass a nuclear family.
My family life has no effect on yours and visa versa and until such time as it does it's no one else's business.
A good book, a better movie.
I'm happy I didn't know what you were talking about to begin with :)
Any rational conservative who recognizes the "double standard" applied to men and women before the law, or rather, before the organs of adjudication...
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