we now have a society that, by and large, tells women to be women and men to be women, too.
This is true. A big part of it is the Higher Ed filter that many (if not most) young people go through. When I say Higher Ed, it starts in HS (especially for those on the college prep track), accelerates in college, and becomes an article of faith in grad school. In most disciplines, it is nearly impossible to graduate without demonstrating that you have a certain mindset. Those who do no embrace political correctness (or at least can't hide their contempt for it) are eased out. Those who graduate with that mindset end up infecting whatever organization they go to (Government, business, etc). As a result of 4+ decades of this, you now have an entrenched elite in virtually every part of society (not just Academia, Media or Politics) that holds the culture, traditional values, and much else about our society in contempt. As a result, they feel guilty about it and are unable/unwilling to defend our country--be it with force of arms or even with psychological support.
That being said, I think the above is just a symptom. The root cause was allowing women to vote. If that had not happened, then much of what stands for politics as usual these days would never have gotten off the ground. Women are more understandng and nurturing because that is what is needed to be a mother. However, its never wise to nurture your enemies--and that is what is happening.
Don't know if you've ever read Heinlein's "Starship Troopers". In that book, he advocated that ONLY veterans (male or female) be allowed to vote because they had made the sacrifices, proved that they put country above self, and earned the right. I would support a system like that--as long as you could ensure that the veterans would not loot the treasury to enrich themselves.
I never read the book, but I have seen the movie. The idea of only allowing vets to vote is intriguing, but since power corrupts, it would, like you said, only be a matter of time before the vets became power-mad elitists. And we have enough of those now.