All fighter pilots are busy now. Please stay on the line for the next available combat officer. Do not hang up or you will lose your place in line.
....your call is important to us.....
Dial 1 to speak with an Air Force Fighter Pilot,
Dial 2 to speak with a naval aviator,
Dial 33564732894059378374575894993040004440050687837662849950 to speak with a really smoking hot female A-10 pilot
Press the pound key to call in all Marine aviation assets within 100 miles of your location
"bob":< heavy Indian accent > This is "bob."
Lt.: We need a JDAM at these coordinates.
"bob": Please to reboot terrorists. (shuffling paper) Press ctrl-alt-bang.
Lt.: Hurry, we're pinned down by a machine gun in a minaret.
"bob": Please to reinstall magazine and restart weapon.
Lt.: We need air support now!!
"bob": Thanks to you for calling Dell -- er, uhm US Air Force.
< Click >